who is dave??
dave is the LONGEST EARTHWORM FOUND IN THE UK just hanging out in a vegetable plot in cheshire. he weighed 26 GRAMMES ( 11g more than the previous scottish record holding worm ) and measured 40CM IN LENGTH. THAT IS A BIG FUCKING WORM. THAT'S LONGER THAN A RULER. A LOT LONGER THAN A RULER. 15 INCH WORM. WOAH!!!!
now, emma sherlock is the CHAIR of the earthworm society of britain, and is in support of the murder of dave. ' this may seem sad, but by being part of the scientific collection this earthworm will have a legacy that lasts beyond all of our lifetimes, helping scientists today and tomorrow to understand and protect this species and its environment ' blah blah blah!!! you could've let him live a good life emma. poor guy was just a little long and got murdered. did you do that to the tallest humans?? no!! they're still walking about!!!! also the natural history museum didn't even decline my offer to see him they DIDN'T EVEN READ IT BOOOO SHAMEEEE ( read near the end of this blog post for the full story )
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big up to dave, peace and love, i hope that heaven is real exclusively for worms, so that dave can wiggle in peace, with all the fertile soil and banana peels he could ever want. gone too soon. rip king. i hope i can pay my respects one day.